If you are planning to live with someone for any period of time, picking a good roommate is essential. Believe it or not, I have had 19 roommates in the past four years. It feels crazy to type that! These roommates have been from college and summer internships. I have shared a room with four of them, while the rest were suitemates who lived in the same apartment but had their own bedrooms.
Honestly, the roommates with whom I have shared a personal bedroom have provided the best experiences. Sharing a close space can create a strong bond. On the other hand, not sharing a bedroom but everything else can be more frustrating. A roommate or suitemate might make a mess in the kitchen, bathroom, or living room, hoping someone else will clean it up. This is not my favorite situation to be in.
So, here are some tips for finding a good roommate fit for you:
Find a Roommate with Shared Beliefs
I have had roommates at a Christian college and later at college in Miami. These are two different worlds. At the Christian college, most roommates would not bring the opposite sex to sleep over or have parties in the dorm because it is not the norm there. Outside of that space, having the opposite gender sleep over or throwing parties in the dorm is more normalized. From these experiences, I have learned it is better to room with someone who is on the same page as you. It makes things easier, and you will likely be much closer with a roommate who shares your beliefs. While I have never had serious conflicts with roommates who have different habits, I have gotten along better with those who do.
Find a Roommate Who Will Chip In
Having a roommate who never contributes to shared space expenses can be frustrating. This is not an issue if there is an agreement that one person will buy most or all shared items. As broke college students, it is nice when everyone chips in. I had one roommate where we took turns buying soap and toilet paper without discussing it. When supplies were low, I knew it was my turn since she bought last time, and vice versa.
Be Clear About Cleaning Habits
I love a clean space and do not mind doing a weekly deep clean every Saturday. This habit makes everything feel more peaceful. I picked this up later in my roommate journey. Do not be afraid to designate chores between roommates. In my last two apartments, I was willing to do anything except take out the trash, and before that, anything except clean the bathroom. It is helpful when everyone respects and maintains the shared space. If you are not a clean freak, that is okay. You can still live with one as long as they know your habits in advance. One roommate did not like to clean but allowed me to move her stuff when cleaning. That worked for me because I preferred to handle my own things.
Discuss the “Little Things”
The little things, like the room temperature, sharing supplies, or when to turn off the lights, matter. Trust me. Wanting to sleep while your roommate chats with friends at 2 am is not ideal. I have been on both ends: the tired roommate and the one talking late. It is best to have roommates on the same page as you.
Good luck in your journey of finding a roommate. My roommates have been some of the most impactful people in my life. I hope that you find the best roommate for you and that you share an unbreakable bond with whoever you room with.
